Friday, December 25, 2009

14 - thinking about problems.


Let's suppose one has a problem, something worrisome, so the person start to think about it a lot, right?
Usually one repeat in his mind, over and over, what has gone wrong, or what can go wrong, thus provoking anxiety, and a feeling that can be of rage, impotence, despair, etc....
Do you think this can help to solve the problem?
Often this leads only to feel bad.
And may be, to make the situation worse.
What I find to be the better behavior, when I find myself acting like this, is...
1- to recognize that this way of thinking is of no help.
2- to open my mind to find a solution
3- to do the best that I can
4- when I can't do anything more, to wait patiently and faithfully until the problem is resolved
5- trying to stay serene, knowing that feeling bad is of no use
Hope this can help ;-)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Think outside the box.


Yesterday my 12-y-o daughter, wanted to go shopping with me (alone), so I asked my husband to stay with the almost 4-y-o boy.
Hubby, after 8 hours of hard work, absolutely needed to take a nap, so, agreed but only if his son would take a nap with him.
Obviously the boy, after crying because he wanted to come with us, and being absolutely denied the possibility (shopping with him is too much stressful), agreed to stay at home, but only if he could see the cartoons.
Obviously again, papa, won't let him alone in the living room while he was sleeping, so, no way!
I told my daughter that she could go shopping alone....no way!
Then I told my daughter to go out with her friend...the cell phone was off!
Then I told my daughter we could go shopping tomorrow...sad face!
Let's say, that sometimes to have an agreement is somehow difficult.
And let's say that this discussion was not conducted in a composed way.
Then I thought, "wait! there must be some other way!" I calmed down and immediately
the solution came to me, we could go out after my husband wake up.
Well!
It was obvious, but nobody thought about it, because usually we don't like her to be out when it's dark, but being my daughter with me, there was no problem.
Why did I tell you this story?
Ah, yes, I thought that was a good example of how, when one cools down and opens his mind to other possibilities, a solution is often found.
And that often we are boxed in, by our habits, way of thinking, conditioning, etc....
Ah, the joys of having a family!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

When will I be happy?


Recently I was watching on TV, a guy who reached the Magnetic North Pole.
He was in this desolate, ice cold, snowy, middle of nowhere (the North Pole), and said, now I'm happy.
This made me think, if he's happy in such surroundings, he could have chosen something closer to home.
Just kidding.
Sometimes (often) we think, when I'll....( add your favorite, succeed, slim, become rich, have a relationship, climb a mountain, reach the North Pole.... ) then I will be happy.
My proposal is, let's be happy now, regardless, and then let's reach what it makes us more satisfied ( if it's worth....hey guy, nothing personal );-D

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Do you feel good enough?


Hi everybody!
Do you sometimes feel you are not good enough?
May be your parents (or someone else) "make you feel" this way?
Today I found a fantastic tool to eliminate this feeling, and this belief.
For free...click here!
(I tried and it seems it works)
Enjoy!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Money , money, money.


If you have financial problems, if you are struggling with the bills to pay, if you can't understand why, despite all your efforts you can't succeed, there is a book that can answer to your questions.
And I found it for free here, I can not certify that it works (yet), because I read it recently, but I can say It opened my eyes a lot, about important things in life, not only money.
I recommend it.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Fears, phobias and traumas.


Let's say you have a phobia for some animals (spiders, insects, dogs...), or you have fear to fly, or to go to the dentist.....or you have lived a traumatic event...something that when you think of it, you feel upset.
There is a technique from NLP that can help to disassociate disturbing emotions from traumatic events, or from fearful situations.
So that you can feel serene and detached from it.
Nice, uh?
Now, you need to sit comfortable and undisturbed for at least 15 min.
Close your eyes and visualize yourself entering in a cinema, you walk in the middle of the room and sit in a chair.
Look at the screen, there is a movie playing, featuring this event that you already lived or that you imagine.
The movie is in black and white and you are the main character.
Now imagine that you are in the projector's room, seeing yourself seated in the cinema and seeing the movie from afar.
Weird, I know, but it's done to detach yourself more from what's going on....on the screen.
Ok, now let the movie play, in black and white, the stressful situation....for example you see the spider, scream terrified, then someone get rid of it, and you calm down.
At this point you step in the movie, now you are living it, as in real life, the scene turn in colors, and you watch the movie backwards, as if on rewind.
Moreover, doing this rewind as fast as possible, you play a funny music, like a circus or cartoon one.
This part, reliving the movie from end to start, in a fast rewind and with music, you repeat it several times, 5 o 6.
After some rest you will find that thinking to the same situation is no more, or less anxiety-provoking.
Usually this technique works immediately, but if, after some days you feel the problem is not resolved yet, you can do it again.
And now you can get rid of all your fears! Woo Hoo!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A bit of freedom (and shopping) makes me happy.


After a long period of duty, duty, duty, work, housekeeping, kids, and ... repeat, today I had two, yes I said "two" hours of total freedom ( I think prisoners have more freedom than me, yeah, I know I'm complaining), that I spent wandering downtown in search of something, yes, you guess right, for my kids.
However I enjoyed so much this time, I felt 20 years younger, that I recommend to everybody, most of all, mothers, take some time for yourself, sometimes, alone....

Sunday, November 15, 2009

How to obtain things.


Once I was a shy kind of person, afraid of asking anything, and ready to give up in front of the first difficulty.
Now that I'm more self confident, I discovered that when I put in my mind to obtain something, I can, yes I can ;D

My personal recipe is:

Kindness: when I talk to people in a kind mood, usually they respond in the same way, aggressiveness is often counterproductive.
And moreover, if asking for help, people often feel great about helping someone.

Firmness: if I know I am right, I don't give up. I don't let people trample my rights.

Persistence: again, if I am right, I don't give up, if I fail the first time, I try to find other ways, I insist and persist.

Mental flexibility: it seems opposite to the other points, but with it, one can be open to understand the situation well, what one can obtain, and the way to succeed, keeping in mind other's rights and points of view.

Be patient and be faithful that my need will be met.

And if, after all, I fail, I will know I've done all my best.
But often, he who leaves, loses.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sorrow.


In my own experience and understanding I found that all sorrow come from thoughts, and all happiness come from thoughts.
Life, reality, is nor good nor bad, it all depends on what you think about it.
And you can consciously decide what to think.
Change your thoughts and see how your mood change.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Too many things to do?


Raise your hand if it never happened to you, to feel overwhelmed by the things to do.
( If you do it, I'm so glad ;)
If not, maybe your job, maybe the housekeeping, the family life.... some area of your life ( or all together ) seems to ask too much time and/or energy, and you feel like you cannot cope with it, you feel so small and weak, and would like to sleep until someone else finish it all.
But no, nobody else will do it, you know it, so it's better to learn how to cope without feeling crushed.
It happened to me recently, I accepted a new responsibility within my job, something that will cut off two hours a day from my life, add two sick kids, a huge pile of laundry to iron, a mess of a house and what you get?
Panic! Fear! How will I do it? I feel sick! I feel weak! Oh, my! I cannot!
So, what I've done to regain serenity?
1- I told myself with conviction, I can do it.
2- I visualized myself as a giant, and the amount of work as a tiny stuff.
3- I made a list, with the most important/urgent tasks to complete on top.
4- I started to do one thing at a time, concentrating on it, without thinking about all the rest.
Other points to keep in mind:
- first thing, that I "forgot" in my case: ponder well before accepting new responsibilities.
( but, on the other hand, if one remains in his comfort zone, he will never do something new )
- delegate, find some help if you can.
- take your time to rest and have fun.
- plan your day/week.
- eliminate, not so necessary and time consuming obbligations.
- remember you're human (or not?) don't ask yourself for perfection.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

13 - Gratitude.


One day, long ago, I was complaining in my mind for something I could not afford in my life, and thinking how I was unfortunate, compared to some people. I will not tell you what it was, let's say it was a not so important thing (but that's not the point) neverthless I felt totally miserable about it.
Then something happened that made me thought about people who really have less in life, and immediately I felt ashamed for my complaints.
Therefore the first thing I understood is to not compare with others, unless you consider both, the ones who have more and the ones who have less.
The next step I made was, to analize my life just to see the things I had and that I could be happy for.
Well, the right word is grateful, and I find gratitude is a nice feeling, a sentiment that makes you "feel" good, if you know what I mean.
So, I put down a list, yes I wrote it, of all I had and was grateful for, I began with the smallest things I scarcely ever noted, like....I have eyes to see, ears to hear, I can talk, touch, walk, hug, and so on.....I have a roof on my head, a family....a job....
Often we take these things for granted, but actually they are not.
My conclusion is, often noting, and enjoying what you have, will make you feel much better...often!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Money, is that a problem?

I was intrigued by a book review about "Secrets of the millionaire mind", and doing some research on the web I found an entire conference by the author, Harv Eker, on YouTube.
Though I don't agree exactly with everything he says, there's a lot of interesting points, If you have some problems in dealing with money, and don't know why, maybe you can find the answer here.
Moreover he's very entertaining.
Enjoy!













Thursday, October 8, 2009

Decluttering makes me happy.


I was inspired to write this post by one of my favorite blogs, here.
It's about housekeeping that is one of the things I find more boring, and other than cleaning, the thing I love less (read hate) is to de clutter before cleaning, bend down to pick up toys, clothes, snacks' pack....and going around rooms to put things at places, you know what I mean...
Ok, I put it short, the way I found to be happier with my house is to eliminate the unnecessary, I don't say I have a "zen" house, my home is quite normal, but I try to keep less stuff in it, from time to time I eliminate what is not used, and I buy only what is strictly needed, or really, really loved :D
Another tip I find useful to mantain toys in order, is to keep a basket in every room, is so faster to clean up the mess.
Definitely I live better in a tidy home, and I have less to do...and I have more time to do what I like (internet) ;)
Here I found some intresting tips on how to declutter.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

....and despair

Many people had or have in their life an episode of despair,
the mechanism that lead to it is: taking a problem, focusing on it, constantly giving attention to it, excluding all the rest, thus the problem becomes overwhelming and one cannot see a way out.
I make you a "photographic" example: there is a nice picture with something wrong in it, now take this small wrong particular, and zoom on it until it becomes big and cover all the picture, got it?
Now possible solutions are:
1) Look for a creative outcome to the problem,
trusting that one will find it, and being patient.
This only shifting of attention often cools things down,
one put oneself in an active role instead of a "victim" role.
2) If, by chance, there is no solution:
- gain a detached point of view of the situation as if seeing it from afar
- resize the problem, asking oneself if it is really so big.
- acknowledge that our thoughts and emotions are not ourself, they come and pass,
probably tomorrow will be better
- if the "cause" is a person or some people ask oneself: is he/she, are they worth my sorrow?
- realize that despair don't solve problems, and leads to nothing but despair
- when one find oneself going over and over the same thought, start to think something else....
- concentrate one's attention on life's aspects that are going well...
- something one is grateful for....
- something nice...
- start giving oneself what brings joy and happiness, even small things...
Put in this terms, it looks simple, and in fact it is, or it would be if we were taught from our childhood how to master our thoughts and emotions.
( I promise that I try to apply what I said, when I make myself angry and desperate after my 3-year-old boy behavior, and something else too ;)

Friday, September 18, 2009

About anger......



Usually someone gets angry when things don't go the way he wants to, or the way he believes is right.
And becomes desperate almost for the same reason, things are going bad and he doesn't see a way out.
There is a conflict between the actual situation and what he wishes, or what he believes it should be.
In each cases, often the reaction is exaggerated compared to what has provoked it, let's think about someone whose parking is stolen, some people can become furious about that, even become violent.
What's happened? yes the other one acted wrong, or may be he thinks he's right, but the "victim" takes a small fact and let it become huge.
He focus all his attention on it, he continuously repeat it in his mind, he doesn't see anything else, he doesn't see that ... it's only a parking, may be there is another one....maybe he was waiting and I didn't see him...let's forgive and go ahead...
When you see someone acting like this, maybe you think he's a bit mad, loosing his temper for what.
Do you know why? the answer is you are detached from the situation, you see it in perspective, you give the right weight to what's happened.
So, next time you see yourself becoming angry, try to gain some perspective, ask yourself if what's happening is so grave, note that life cannot be always the way we want to, that other people have a right to their opinion, and this can conflict with our own point of view.
To be continued...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

step 12 - The joy inherent in loving and giving.


Many people want to be loved, because they think that it will make them happy, and yes being loved is something nice, but there is something more valuable that is loving.
As I see it, love, in his greater meaning, I mean unconditional love, is a sentiment, a feeling, we can call it a sensation, that raise within our being and moves towards the other.
And, being born in ourself, that means that we are the first affected by it.
It is like the light bulb ( I love this example ;), when you turn the light on, the bulb itself becomes filled with light, then the light becomes so overwhelming that radiates all around, the same is with love.
When you love somebody, or something, in a pure form, without expecting something in return, you are the first filled with this beautiful feeling, a feeling of joy, of gratitude, of giving.
Interesting, isn't it?
And you can love everything, beginning with yourself, life, nature, friends, children, people, there are no limits.
The same thing it happens with giving, when you give something, without expectations, you feel rich, when you wait for others giving to you, you feel like a "beggar".
How do you want to feel?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Life is worth living with love


I want to kiss you and hug you
protect you and please you
from the middle of my chest
an overwhelming tenderness
joy and gratitude
'cos life is worth living
with love

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Summer's end



Oh wonderful day!
I can breath again
the first bite
of crispy air
today

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Just kidding!

Found on www.jokesnjokes.net:

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? (of course)

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Everything passes.


It's some days I don't post, did you notice?
The weather was/is hot, I felt terribly down, I wanted to do things but had no strength to accomplish them.
Finally I realized/recalled that I suffer from low pressure and took some natural stimulant.
Today is better, I accomplished a lot of work, and feel satisfied.
What is the moral of the story, everything passes, you feel good then you feel bad, and then good, of course try to take the best out of every situation, but sometimes you have to pass through the bad ( as fast as possible ).
If you feel bad, depressed or something, remember, it will pass....I wish to remember it too, next time ;D.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Beware of convictions!


I always believed to be an asocial person, when I was young I always felt uneasy about socializing, parties, family reunions, gatherings etc......I always felt an outsider, and as a child I didn't have a choice but to suffer it.
Growing up, I started to avoid all the situations that caused me discomfort, and begin to live mostly on my own, with my family, of course, co-workers, and only few individuals I encounter in my daily moves.
I thought I was happy in this way.
Approximately one year ago I started to frequent an Internet forum, where I learned the things I'm sharing with you, and my life changed a lot, I became more happy, I started to see myself not as a victim but the leading actor of my life, yet when it came the point where forum people began to meet in real life, I've never joined.
They mean a lot to me, they are like family, because of them I started to see how beautiful each person is, in his individuality, every one brings his uniqueness, and enriches the whole.
We became friends, we shared struggles, laughs, smiles, jokes, awareness, yet I didn't want to meet them in real life.
My excuses was I have two children, a husband, don't have time, but I know when you really want something, you find the way.
Until, some days ago, something happened in the forum, that caused a crisis to me, and I explained that I'm asocial, I don't know how to behave in groups, I feel uneasy,etc...
They couldn't believe so, they told me it's not true, that I'm sunny, cheerful, helpful...one of them told me that was only my conviction of being asocial, that every time something happens, it deepens this conviction and prevent me to freely live, my friendships.
It took a little time for me to realize it was true, and I started to think about all the times I did very social things, and I started to doubt about my being asocial.
The same moment, I started to think about my friends in a very different way, now I want to meet them, I want to hug them.
The problem was my persuasion.
Convictions are very powerful, when you believe something then you act consequently.
When you find that you believe something about yourself, that is preventing you from living better, begin to doubt it.

Monday, August 3, 2009

3-year-old's fun stuff.



3-year-old: Mom....is Daddy still on the plane?
Me: No, dear, he just got off.
3-year-old: Where did he park?

11 - Love yourself!


Do you know when you are in love with someone? when you see this person as the most beautiful in the world ( or at least the most interesting ;), when you see especially his qualities, and you love his weaknesses too, when you forgive his faults, when you wish him the best, when you would give to him all the beautiful things and experiences, when you'd want to stay with him all the time?
Do you feel the same, towards yourself ?
If the answer is yes, great!
If the answer is no, start doing it.
You have the right and the obligation to love yourself, who should do it, instead of you?
Start to see yourself as a child, a child who needs love, and at the same time, be your parent, the one who gives love.
Start to see your qualities and the good things you do, forgive your faults and weaknesses.
Start to wish you the best, try to give you the best.
Enjoy your own company as if you were your best friend, after all you are.
Love!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How to avoid things that are not beneficial.


Sometimes, a lot of people ( no, not me, I'm a Saint, you know ) go after things, although they know are not beneficial in the long run, for example someone who has high cholesterol and still wants a fatty steak or, a woman who wants more and more shoes, ( I'm the only woman in the world who has only two 5 or 6 pairs and doesn't want more ) even if she has already a lot and her account is in the red....here, I came to know this trick, that can be very helpful in such a situation.
First, try to visualize something you don't like at all, something you find disgusting....ok? now take note of the image's features:
  • the object is near or far?
  • it's bright or dark?
  • in which part of the "screen" you see it, right, left, up, down, center....?
  • it has bright colors or is in B & W ?
  • it's focused or not?
Next, visualize the "item" you want to avoid, and give it the same qualities the unpleasant one had.
If you do this exercise for some day you will note how your feelings about the object, will change.

Friday, July 24, 2009

See the humour :)


I note that bloggers I appreciate more, are the funniest ones, people who write about their life and themselves, smiling and focusing on the humorous side of it, are the best, to me.
And I believe they enjoy very much doing that, and they are happier then others.
Moreover they are valued, and tend to find friends more easily.
Everybody (me too, I will commit, I swear) can do so, try to pay attention at the funny side of life, and share it, it will enhance your day and others' too.
You can find very hilarious stuff, here and if/when you find some biiig mistake on my blog you are allowed to laugh at me loudly. :D

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Turn the light on!


I thought about posting something about the usefulness of pain as ... I don't say that you can be happy continuously, 24 hours a day, that you won't suffer any more for the rest of your life... sometimes suffering is unavoidable and may be useful, for instance experiencing it, gives you understanding of other's people problems, and it gives you the possibility to better appreciate good times...but I won't.
Instead I wish to focus attention, on a matter that I consider a nodal point.
When you suffer, in a psychological or physical way, you tend to fight against it, and continually think about it, this doesn't work.
In this manner you give strength to the problem, fighting it, is the best way to maintain it.
It is like being in a dark room and trying to kick darkness away. Impossible!
The only way, you know, is to bring some light in, and darkness is gone, you can turn the switch on, if there is one (otherwise go and buy some candles or a lamp ;-).
Same thing happens with bad thoughts, evil habits, evil in general, it has the same property of darkness, bring some good, and ill is no more.
For example, you have a bad eating habit, if you continuously think: "I don't have to eat junk food", and blame yourself, you will, for sure.
Instead begin to think about eating healthy, and one step at a time, do it, start small and grow.
I read a concept on an italian blog, I liked it, is about small changes...when you introduce little changes in your life, and maintain them, though you consider them small, results will be huge in the long run, like a little diversion in the trajectory of a straight line, you'll see, after a while how much the trajectory is changed.
Very inspiring for me.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

10 - enjoy life just now!



How many of us are living the same boring routine, e.g. waiting at the bus stop, with an almost sad face :( , why? may be....the weather or the job...or thinking at troubles, who knows.....
But,what the hell! What a waste of time! Feeling so and so, and with no purpose!
Waiting for ... what?!?
No, it is possible to lift our spirit right now, just imagine yourself smiling, cheering up and changing your mood.
Use your imagination and/or focus on the beautiful things available to brighten up your life every moment you can .... it is our responsibility to do so for ourself, love ourself, cuddle our being...
life is so short, it's a shame to waste it...feeling bad for nothing.
What do you like? What gives you enjoyment?
Music? A book? A walk? Playing with you kids? Hugging your buddy? Meeting with bosom friends? Joking? Relaxing? Gardening?.....
Think it well, and, as possible as you can, give it to yourself. You deserve it!

Here are some funny quote:

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Marty Feldman

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonnette

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Jean Kerr

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
Steve Martin

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
Steve Martin

Mom, I want a spiderman suit, now.
Where do I find it, now ?
Wait, I tell you mom...at the chemist's shop ?!?
My son


:D :D :D

Sunday, July 5, 2009

who's fault?


It's frequent, when things don't go the way we want, we tend to find the fault somewhere, some people, to feel better , blame others, some blame themselves. In either case there's no point in doing that.
First, when things happens in a certain way it's a conjunction of several factors, so to figure out who's the fault, is difficult.... second, people often do their best, but sometimes fail, nobody's perfect...third, although you find the blameful and you condemn, and or punish, what will you obtain?
Sometimes things happen, because they happen, that's all, accept it, try to take the best out of it, and go ahead.

Friday, July 3, 2009

9 - Shifting our attention on the positive side


Many people are accustomed, by family and society, to think negative, as I was, they don't even know they have the possibility to change their way of thinkin' (unfortunately we are not provided with an instruction booklet when we are born).
But fortunately, at the age of 40 I met someone who told me that it is possible, and everybody can do it, so I can define me lucky, and you too, because you are reading this blog ;-), if you apply what I tell you, your life can really improve, as mine.
So, here we are, as previously explained we can control our thoughts, and our thoughts, the images, the sounds we play in our minds effect the way we feel, so when we find ourself going over and over a problem, or complaining, or fearing some "possible" future event, first we want to realize this, then shifting our focus on.... finding a solution for the problem in some creative way...or counting our blessing, instead....or understanding that they are only thoughts, nothing real, then start thinking something positive. An example, you are complaining about your husband, what you hate of him ....instead start focusing on his qualities, on the many good things he does, if you really want you'll find something, lol!
I find this story is beautiful ....
is from "Love Stories from the Heart." It's called "Extraordinary People."
Larry and Joanne were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. Like other ordinary couples they struggled to make ends meet and provide for their children. They were ordinary in another way, also. They had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned what was wrong in their marriage, until one day when a most extraordinary event took place. "You know, Joanne, I have a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open it, it's full of socks," Larry said. I want to thank you for washing them all these years." Joanne peered at her husband over her spectacles. "What do you want, Larry?" she said. "Nothing! I just want you to know how much I appreciate the magic drawer." This wasn't the first time Larry had said something odd, but Joanne decided to put these remarks away in the back of her mind along with the previous ones. Later, Larry said, "Joanne, that was a great meal. I appreciate all your effort. I bet over the past 15 years you have fixed over 14,000 meals." A little later, Larry said, "Gee, Joanne, the house looks spiffy." Another time, "Joanne, thanks just for being you." Day in and day out, Larry continued to focus on the positive. Then one day, Larry said, "Joanne, I want you to take a little break. I will do the dishes." "Why, thank you, Larry." Joanne's voice sounded a little lighter, and her self-confidence felt a little stronger. A little later, Joanne said, "Larry, I want to thank you for going to work and for providing for us all these years. I really appreciate you. I love you."

Monday, June 29, 2009

New blog


I've just created a new blog, to share any idea it comes in my mind, that I think it's worth, useful, or funny, or all of them
Here: Random tips.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

How I solved a food problem + zucchini spaghetti recipe





Usually food has nothing to do with my blog, but in this case it has to do with relying on my creativity to solve an issue I had with food.
I explain..... I like spaghetti very much and when I eat them, not so often, I eat a lot, cannot stop even when I'm full, I have to finish the plate, so at the and I find myself quite unable to move, and sleepy.
Last week I ate spaghetti and it went as above, so I told myself, this is not good, have to find a solution, I want something like spaghetti but healthier, lighter, and low carb....I knew there is spaghetti squash, but it is not easy to find and you have to cook it before use.
No, i needed something quick and easy...thinking...thinking, I imagined what if making spaghetti out of zucchini.
Little search on the internet and i found that somebody has already invented them :D.
Yesterday I bought zucchini and decided to give it a try.
I took one medium zucchini (only for me to taste), and grated it by the long side with a regular julienne grater, but I found that they sell a julienne cutter, and even a machine called spiralizer or saladacco, to do a better job.
However they came out nicely, a little more like noodles, and I kept them raw.
Then I made a spaghetti sauce, stirring fry with evo some chopped onion and half a bell pepper, chopped, when they became tender, I added tomato sauce and salt to my taste, and let all cook till done.
I put the zucchini spaghetti in the pan, turned with the sauce, and served.
I was very satisfied, the feeling of eating spaghetti, the zucchini taste was only slightly perceived, and I felt light after eating.
Even my daughter and husband said it was good, fine!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

at ease!


During some of these days I felt uncomfortable inside, was irritable for no reason, a little tired, don't know how to explain, I imagined I was in PMS, so nothing to do but to wait.
Yesterday, after half a day spent like this, a sudden thought came to me... you are doing it, you can stop it...immediately, the sensation was gone, I saw, unknowingly I was going over and over that mood in the same way sometimes, one goes over and over the same thought.
And when I became aware that it was me, producing that bad feeling, simply I stopped.
Great...:D

following my own advices about solving problems


My three years old son got a cold, stuffy nose and cough, mostly by night, he usually have it, several times a year.... I asked myself, how to solve this problem....the day after I spoke with a colleague about this, and he told me his son had the same problem and he solved with homeopathy.
I never trusted homeopathy, and never tried, but who knows, let's try..(in any case it does no harm).
I bought a syrup suitable for dry and productive cough (stodal) and a remedy for cold and nasal congestion (rimikind).
It is two days now, that my kid sleeps serene, breathes well and without cough.

Friday, June 19, 2009

why or how?



When I found myself in times of trouble....mmmm...looks like a song....I used to ask myself why, why, why?......even if the answer brought some brief satisfaction, now I know, with why you go nowhere, it is like walking around on the same track...if you want to make a step outside the circle and solve the problem you must ask yourself, how?...and wait, and ask, with trust, looking inside and outside of you, for the answer.
Maybe you will find it in your mind, maybe some opportunity will come, be patient and wait. If you really want the answer, it will come.
Give it a try.

Monday, June 8, 2009

n. 7/8 some kind of mantra


When you feel yourself entrapped in a recurrent negative thought...
when you are angry or sad.....
when you criticize yourself, a situation, or somebody else......
when a thought is of no use but to make you feel bad and it seems you cannot avoid it...
you can use a mantra.
A mantra is a word or a phrase continuously repeated (in your mind or out loud), until the previous thought disappear.
You can use whatever you like, for example stop,stop,stop...shut up...so what....
or you can start to sing a song you like a lot, one of these songs sometimes we find ourself to sing without end, you can even choose a song for future situations.
Next time you will know what to do.

Friday, June 5, 2009

trust


I find trust is a beautiful thing, having faith that all will be well, that actually all is well, I feel so serene.
Fearing about future or about not being able to do something, in effect I'm forgetting about life that is sustaining me every moment, the air I breathe, the home I live in, the job, all is provided, I take all for granted, don't even notice the abundance that surrounds me.
So why to doubt that tomorrow won't be the same? What for?
It's better to have faith that I will cope, I will find a solution to any problem.
I know by experience that it works, it brings its rewards.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

decisions

Do you know when you make a decision, when you go for a thing you know it won't succeed, you feel there is something wrong about it, but you still do it against all odds?
May be it won't succeed, may be you will suffer, but may be you will understand some important thing about yourself, may be you will resolve an important issue in your life, so you will be grateful even for that sorrow.
After all, everything is fine.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

n. 6 using feelings as an indicator


when you feel somehow uncomfortable inside, tense or sad, angry and so on...there is something wrong, stop for a while and look inside, what have you thought, to feel like this? or you did something that went against some inner value, is this value worth and just? or is just a limiting conviction?
If you feel paceful and serene, wow! great! you've got it.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I apologise


....mostly with myself, for missing one of the most important lessons.
S l o w - d o w n, w h e n - y o u - r e a d, w h e n - y o u - w a l k, w h e n - y o u - l i v e, w h e n - y o u - e a t, j u s t - s l o w - d o w n - a n d - s a v o u r, o t h e r w i s e - r u n n i g - y o u - w i l l - m i s s - t h e - w h o l e - t h i n g.
I had an insight when I was reading a comment about a person's attitude, she was saying: I always want all at once, I'm never satisfied....here was the problem with me too.
Now I see, if you want more and more you miss what you alredy have, if you slow down with everything, you can really enjoy life, even doing the most normal things like washing dishes ; ).
And I see this attitude reflects in eating habits too, when you eat quickly, you even don't taste food, stuff goes down and you are never satisfied untill it is too late, but if you slow down while eating, and savour well, you will need less.

Monday, May 11, 2009

How to become conscious



The real way to become conscious of your thoughts is to watch them knowing they don't are Yourself, in fact they don't; mostly we become so involved in our thoughts that we believe they are ourselves.
It is like when you go to the cinema and you become so involved in the movie that you feel emotional, you start to cry or laugh, it is frequent.
The same, it happens with the movies playing in our minds, we start to believe so intensely in what we think that it becomes our reality, and we rejoice and we suffer only out of it.
But when you begin to see what you are doing you can stop it, immediately, and feel so peaceful.
If you never tried you cannot really understand, or you understand only with your mind, with logic, but when you experience it, it's totally different.
So try, it's worth.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

step n. 5, consciousness is the key


The only way to master your mind, your thoughts and your feelings is to become conscious of them, otherwise it is like you live on automatic pilot, and they will run by themselves, on the basis of your conditionings.
All the things we've been told ( or we've seen ) from our childhood, have been imprinted in our unconscious mind, but it isn't sure they are true or they're beneficial to us (eg. bad habits ).
When we are unconscious, and believe me often we are, it is like our computer is running by somebody else's program, furthermore a program laid out from a plurality of people.
That's why often we have a conflict inside, that's why sometimes a part of us wants something, and yet another part wants the opposite; that's because different voices are recorded in our mind, our father's, our mother's, grand-parents', relatives, teachers, friends.....and they are all different.
If you analyze your thoughts and beliefs, you'll find they've been told to you, by someone, during your life.
A trivial example:
I always believed that richness is bad, is evil, is unholy, that to become rich you have to exploit, you have to cheat, and so on ( I imagine this belief comes from religion, family, society ) ...not surprising that I always had difficulties coping with money, bills, business, etc... because the unconscious obeys to beliefs.
But let us see, if you make money honestly, doing good things, helping people when you can, what's wrong in it?
So, if you want to live as is good for you ( and in harmony with the whole, other people, the universe ), it's important to recognize your thoughts and beliefs for what they really are.

Monday, May 4, 2009

a joke

I found a marvelous joke here.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

how to free yourself from the sense of abandonment or the feeling of not being loved


I found this technique on a Claudia Rainville book, (Metamedicine) I've tried it and can say it frees clogged emotions.
It comes that, if in our childhood we've been abandoned or we've felt not loved, this very emotions can influence our adult behavior, or can create some illnesses, using this technique can relieve the situation.
Find a calm place to rest undisturbed for a while, lie down or sit at your ease, close your eyes and relax, take some deep breathes, go back with your mind at the time when you lived the painful situation, visualize yourself as a child for example, living that situation, may be if one of your parents have leaved you, let go the emotions you had at that time, now visualize yourself how you are now, go to the child you, talk to the child you, hug the child you, tell to him/her that for example your parent had no choice but to leave, or that he was unable to take on the responsibility, something that suit the situation, the things that you now understand.
Moreover tell to the child that you will be always with him/her, that all the love he/she needs, you will provide, that he/she has no fault, that he/she is lovable, and so on, what it comes.
I wish you all the best.
P.S.: I think it can also suit in a situation when somebody hurt you in other ways and, of course, not only during childhood.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

allowing ourselves what we want


How is it possible that certain people obtain great things?
Simply because they believe they can, and of course they intensely want it, and they go for it, and they persevere till they get it.
How can somebody climb a mountain if he doesn't believe he can?
First, he will never try.
How can somebody achieve anything, if he never tries?
and will somebody try something, if he doesn't think he can do it?
And how does he know if he can or cannot do something, if he doesn't try?
How many questions! :D !
I find that many people ( and I was one of them ), even don't allow themselves to dream things they consider impossible for them.
But this very belief is an obstacle, if you think you cannot do something, that's what you'll obtain.
So next time you wanna do something ( something good, of course, ; ) ), but you think it's impossible, ask yourself, why not? am I sure? where is it written?

Monday, April 27, 2009

mudras


today I was slightly down, it rained, the sky was dark, I tried to feel better with music, video, imagination, nothing worked....surfing the web I stumbled upon an explanation of mudras, mudras are ways you hold your fingers to obtain energetic effects, they're used in yoga, meditation, healing... there was one mudra that suited to my situation, it is shown above, it is called acceptance mudra...I tried with both hands, almost immediately I began to smile, don't know if it was for the funny outcome, however it's worth a try.
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/mudras/mudra.php?num=28
p.s.: I must say that I kept on doing it during the day and my mood is dramatically improved.

Friday, April 24, 2009

N. 4 practice part two


We've seen how to handle positive thoughts and emotions, now we learn how to manage negative ones. The trick is the same, may be this time it is better not to indulge in bad thinking, but to understand his characteristics. Well, close your eyes and think about a bad experience you had, how you visualize it, what are the main features, are you in third person, as if you see yourself having the experience, or you see it as you are in your body, just through your eyes? You see it big, near you or far and small, in front of you, or at your side, high or low, dark or bright, focused or not? How do you feel inside? Now try to change the features and see how the feeling changes.
How was it first, how is it now, what did you understand?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Hi!


I want to say a special hello to my dear, dear friends, the barefoot succumb sisters, the particles, and " The Wizard" who are visiting this blog, I love you all, dudes!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

what cats are for, the pursuit of perfection and the sense of guilt.


this reflection began one day I was looking through my window at a cat who was wandering in the yard...my God, cats are so lazy! what they do all day, but waiting for food, sleeping, playing, follow their curiosity, and wandering around?
I realized that cats have no use ( except catching mouses ); ), yet they are on this earth and nobody blames them.
Maybe you are wondering if I'm mad, who knows! lol!
I get to the point, I used to feel guilty many times for many reasons...do you know how is feeling guilty? I feel as my stomach is twisted back on itself, what is you way?
Why do we feel guilty? because we don't behave as we consider good....
I show you some exemple, if the dinner was not so good, I used to feel guilty, if the house was disordered....if I took some time for myself instead of working..etc
Now I know that feeling guilty have no purpose, it is not that next time you'll do better, I know it by experience, it's like a wheel, next time you'll do the same, and will feel guilty again...
Now what's the point in feeling bad with no purpose, none!
I found a technique to overcome this feeling, actually I mixed different things, when you feel this "something" inside, tell yourself, I forgive me for doing/don't doing this and I completely love and accept myself, and moreover think about something you've done that is worthy.
I do this before sleeping, I make a mental list of what I feel guilty about, I forgive myself, and then I make a list of all I've done well in the same day, most times the second list is more consisting than the first.
However the sense of guilt come out because unconsciously be believe that if we are not perfect, nobody will love us.
Next time you'll worry about being perfect, think about a cat!
But when you know you are going to do something really wrong, feel guilty before, may be this will prevent you!

Monday, April 20, 2009

a little bit of fun

ok, sorry but my childish part want to post something funny, my son made me see this almost a hundred times, I think it's nice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm4I-Zn_a2Y

Saturday, April 18, 2009

N. 3 let's practice!

try this simple exercise to understand how thoughts influence the way we feel.
If you want close your eyes, but you can do with your eyes open ( maybe you're accustomed with daydreaming ; ) ), relax, take some deep breath, now think a very beautiful experience you had.
Note if you see it in color or black and white, if it is close to you or distant, the "picture" is big or small? is focused or not?You see it just in front of you or in another position, where? How do you feel? These features, show you how positive experiences are catalogued in your mind.
Now try to change some feature, if it was colorful imagine it gray, if it was very luminous turn it dark, if it was big make it small, change the place, if it was close to you put it far...how do you feel now?
or make it more luminous, more colored, nearer, bigger, how do you feel now?
Done? well! Tell me how it was.

what a wonderful world

Yes, there are ugly things in the world, but many beautiful ones too, let's decide where to focus our attention on :D

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Can someone hurts you? (emotionally)

Recently I discovered that no, nobody can hurt us. Only we do. It happens often, someone says something or does something and we feel treated bad, we feel a pain in our chest, if you look carefully at the situation you'll see that you are producing that pain. It's impossible for some words to penetrate our skin and flesh, and to produce a wound. Yes, yes I know how it hurts, but really that sensation is produced by us, maybe the words or the behavior triggered something inside us, something from our childhood, and if you pay enough attention you realize that you can stop to do it.
When you realize that you are hurting yourself, ask yourself am I so stupid to continue? obviously not! ;D

Roy Martina's conference

I found this free video tonight, ( I saw it till 2.30 am :D )I knew Mr Martina only by name, but I never read his books nor hear him talking.
I liked him very much, I liked the irony, the fun attitude, and though I already knew what he was talking about I found a lot of interesting points and deepening.
It's about unconscious mind, resisting changes, loving ourselves, happiness without a reason.
The conference was in Italy but Mr Martina speaks in English with translation.
I hope you'll enjoy. Here the link.
http://www.rossivideo.net/conferenza_ilsegreto_r_martina.htm
If you don't know who Roy Martina is, the link to his site below
http://www.roymartina.com/?text_id=1214199&rc_lang=en

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

worrying
















I was thinking and worrying about money, how to make it, how to pay all the bills, and then I read a statement on a blog, http://offbeatspirituality.blogspot.com/ : "they loose their health to make money & then loose their money to restore their health.
By thinking anxiously about future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future."
Incredible timing, ok, I got it, thanks! lol!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

step n. 2

As usual I make it very simple, imagine ...your son, your loved one, somebody you care is due to arrive at a certain hour, he/she's late, ten minutes, half an hour, one hour, two hours, you begin to worry, what if an accident occurred, you start to make a film in your mind of the terrible things may happen, you become anxious, you feel a pain in your chest, everything become dark, heavy, unbearable.
He/she arrives, all is fine, the burden is off, the sky is bluer and lighter.
Nothing bad happened, it was all in your mind, they were only thoughts, you made them.
Did they were useful, but to make you feel bad?
Now imagine, something beautiful, something that means a lot to you, a beautiful experience you had, your son smiling at you, having fun with friends, a nice trip, just see the situation like you are living it, feel the sensations, you are smiling, you are happy.
Ok, nothing real is happening, it's only in your mind, but you feel like it's true.
What you think, the movies playing in your mind, determines the way you feel.
So when you realize you are playing a bad film, stop it, ask yourself, is it real? is it useful to somebody? Why have I to suffer in vane? if you have a real trouble ask yourself, can my affliction help to solve the problem?

Monday, April 6, 2009

enjoy

Cause I think laughing is a marvelous way to feel good, it enhances the endorphines, I post a link to a page where you can find some exhilarating pictures.
http://www.funnyhub.com/topratedpics/p/1/

Friday, April 3, 2009

N. 1 let's make it simple


First step,

be aware that you create your happiness or your sorrow, it is not that they come from outside, it is only your mind that produces them.


You certainly know that there are many people who have everything: money, success, a loved one, a family, and yet they' re desperate, they' re depressed, angry and so on...

and there are people who has nothing and smile, how is it possible?


The way you feel it doesn't depend on reality, but on the way you perceive it.

It depends on the thoughts you have about your reality.


A very simple example:

you have a car, if you start thinking: oh, it's old, my neighbor buyed a new one, his car is better than mine, I don't have enough money to buy a new one, perhaps my family is ashamed of our car, etc....how do you think you'll feel?


If you think: I’m grateful that I have a car, I can go everywhere, I can work, I can carry my family around, if I wouldn’t have a car I should ….. , my car is pretty good, etc....how do you think you'll feel?


It's so simple, but it's true and you can apply this understanding to all.


Begin to notice the way you look at things, the way you think, and the feelings that derive.


Moreover it is not only that your thoughts affect your mood, your unconscious mind is very powerful and will drive you at everything you focus your attention on, for enough time and with enough strength.


Either is something you want or something you don't want.


If you think a lot about a problem, your unconscious mind keep you in it, so when you have a trouble, it's important to focus your attention on the solution rather then the difficulty itself.


I've tried it, and I can say it works …... I had problems with my little son, he was very naughty, and I was always thinking about that tiring situation, achieving nothing.


One day I started to think the way I wanted it to be, I imagined myself acting very cool and gentle with him, and him responding with calm, serenity, smile, and indeed I saw myself begin to act in that way, and my son's behavior resonate with mine.


It is like I “programmed” myself to obtain a certain outcome, and it worked.


So now it's up to you, realize you can be the only responsible of your well-being.


You have the choice, you can decide how to live your life.


Do you want to live in a state of bliss? you can!


You just have to want it, be a little patient ( it takes some time ), put a little commitment, follow the right hints, and you'll get it!


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