Sunday, August 9, 2009

Beware of convictions!

I always believed to be an asocial person, when I was young I always felt uneasy about socializing, parties, family reunions, gatherings etc......I always felt an outsider, and as a child I didn't have a choice but to suffer it.
Growing up, I started to avoid all the situations that caused me discomfort, and begin to live mostly on my own, with my family, of course, co-workers, and only few individuals I encounter in my daily moves.
I thought I was happy in this way.
Approximately one year ago I started to frequent an Internet forum, where I learned the things I'm sharing with you, and my life changed a lot, I became more happy, I started to see myself not as a victim but the leading actor of my life, yet when it came the point where forum people began to meet in real life, I've never joined.
They mean a lot to me, they are like family, because of them I started to see how beautiful each person is, in his individuality, every one brings his uniqueness, and enriches the whole.
We became friends, we shared struggles, laughs, smiles, jokes, awareness, yet I didn't want to meet them in real life.
My excuses was I have two children, a husband, don't have time, but I know when you really want something, you find the way.
Until, some days ago, something happened in the forum, that caused a crisis to me, and I explained that I'm asocial, I don't know how to behave in groups, I feel uneasy,etc...
They couldn't believe so, they told me it's not true, that I'm sunny, cheerful, of them told me that was only my conviction of being asocial, that every time something happens, it deepens this conviction and prevent me to freely live, my friendships.
It took a little time for me to realize it was true, and I started to think about all the times I did very social things, and I started to doubt about my being asocial.
The same moment, I started to think about my friends in a very different way, now I want to meet them, I want to hug them.
The problem was my persuasion.
Convictions are very powerful, when you believe something then you act consequently.
When you find that you believe something about yourself, that is preventing you from living better, begin to doubt it.

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