Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Just kidding!

Found on www.jokesnjokes.net:

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? (of course)

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

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