Wednesday, March 24, 2010

When a critics hurts, and inferiority complex.

Sometimes it happens that, as a child, when we are criticized, scolded, or rejected we can suppose that we are not good enough, or that we are unworthy or that we are less than other people.
When we grow, most probably we understand that each individual is unique, and there is no point in making comparisons with others.
However, when we receive a critics, it can still hurt in an disproportionate way.
We can even hate the one who "makes us feel" in this manner.
Probably because it reminds us the way we felt in our past.
It's like an old wound that opens again.
In this case realize that:
-If we err, it doesn't mean that we "are wrong".
-When someone criticize us, it's his problem, he had some expectations that we have not fulfilled.
-We are not supposed to fulfill other people's expectations.
-If we have thought not to be worthy, or not to be good enough, or that other people were better than us, it was only a meaning that "we gave" to a certain situation.
-Nobody's perfect. ;)
Hope this helps.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

How we are treated, it ( often if not always ) depends on us.

And it is not a matter of blame, it's a matter of responsibility, and freedom.
It often occurred and occurs to me that, when I feel sick or weak, small children become more annoying and intrusive.
Or, when I felt guilty, or afraid, or unworthy, people around me tended to treat me in a more aggressive way, and take advantage of me.
It is commonly known, that victims of aggressions and violence ( emotional too ), are mostly gentle people, people who are afraid, people who feel weak and insecure, or with low self esteem.
All this makes me think that there is a strong connection between what we think and feel, and the way people treat us.
Like...if I think that I'm ridiculous, people will mock me...If I think that I'm not worthy, people will trample on me...if I'm afraid, I will "attract" what I'm afraid of, etc.
It is like, our thoughts and feelings, make us behave in a certain way, and unconsciously we emit signals that trigger other people's aggressive side, or attract aggressive people.
So, if someone treated you bad, figure out why and how you allowed him.
And change what you think, and what you feel about yourself.
When we feel confident, and strong, and respect ourself, most likely people will do the same.

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